A couple months ago, I had a less than fun exchange with one of my biggest writing crushes on her blog. I followed it for some time, wrote what I thought was a helpful comment on a post, and got a snarky reply back.
I was crushed. I unfollowed her and went as far as wondering if I'd ever be able to enjoy her work in the same way again. This is the power of the internet; I was interacting with a star in an intimate, instant way, and we both got burned. She had a fan who was questioning her entire body of work, and I got an idol who possibly saw the interaction in a number of different ways, from a personal attack to a petty annoyance or even as an already forgotten blip on her radar.
It's hard to interact with people who read your work. If you are unfailingly polite to everyone and do your best to keep from every being controversial, you will seem too artificial. If you protect your personal life in a guarded bundle, you'll seem to cold. And, if you let it all loose, you'll lose credibility. The balance is even more difficult now that we're online and out in the public eye before our first piece is published. Intrepid readers can often find old blogs, public records, and our first stories before we're aware anyone's even looking for them.
I have no clear cut answers for how to deal with online living. But, here are some suggestions on how to minimize damage on the internet if you're a published author or trying to break in:
- Never write when anger hits. If you're going to rant, think it through to the point that hitting the send button will no longer cause a vindictive thrill to ease up your spine.
- Assume no one cares about your love life.
- Assume a private profile isn't really private.
- If someone offers advice or catches an error in a blog, article, or work of fiction, THEN is the time to be unfailingly polite.
- Write in your voice as much as possible.
- Shun smileys and emoticons as much as possible. Nobody cares that you can make a Kirby dance through Twitter.
- Consider what you're saying and your potential audience. If you want to go on a religious themed tirade, that might be fine if you're a novelist or a playwright, but it would probably be career suicide if you're a hard-hitting journalist.
- Help as many people as you can.
- Realize some people are beyond your help and just don't get it.
Eventually I decided that the writer with the snarky comment was someone I would continue reading, but not someone I would continue talking to online. I'm not a big fan of flame wars, and all future conversations we could have would be tainted with just a little bit of resentment for being snapped at. If I ever meet her at a convention, I would probably go up and talk to her and see what happens, but for now I'm happy with being someone who just enjoys her writing.
It's going to be interesting to see how fandom evolves as more and more fans connect to their favorite celebrities online.